Waitress Tales

Anyone who has or does wait tables has their own stories to tell about their ridiculous, rude, or endearing customers. Here are a few of mine.

THE BLT

(lady looking at the menu, I, the waitress, posed with my writing pad to take her order)
LADY: what's a BLT?

ME: A bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.

LADY: What all comes on that?

Me: Bacon... lettuce... and tomato. We also put a little mayonnaise on it.

LADY: Okay, I'll take one of those.

(after the food has been cooked, I take it out to her table. She opens the bread, looks inside, and then looks back up at me.)

LADY: Where's the meat?

ME: I'm sorry? Did they not put the bacon on it?

LADY: I thought it was supposed to come with chicken.


Seriously... this really happened.



THE BREAD BOWL

For a brief period of time, my restaurant offered soup in a bread bowl. This conversation really happened.

MAN: I'll take the potato soup in a bread bowl, please.

HIS WIFE: Bread bowl? Can you eat that?

No, ma'am, we rinse them out and serve them again.

Seriously.


COFFEE

MAN: I'll take a black coffee.

(coffee is served)

MAN: Excuse me, may I have some cream?


On one final note: Please don't make any jokes about not wanting to pay your bill. I've heard them all, and they're never funny. I make $2.30 per hour. If you don't tip, I don't eat that night. Therefore, making a joke about how cheap you are does not make me like you at all.